A blade in the night? Must be good news
by Bajun
Summary: Currently the only Prince of Stormhold left meets not-so-deadly assassin. This event can only lead to a story full of teasing, life-savings, heart-breakings and plain old laughs.
1. Chapter 1

The night has fallen and a girl was creeping to a small camp in the woods. The full moon was shining down and the night wasn't really dark which messed with girl's plans. It's always easier to creep in the dark. Still, the disposition was good. As far as she could see there were only three men, two standing guard at the opposite sides of the camp and the third sleeping by the nearest tree.

The girl waited for the cloud to cover the moon and when that finally happened both of the guards were dead within a minute. A small shadow quickly moved to a man under the tree. He was still fast asleep. The girl knelt by his side and slowly started stretching an arm with a knife to his throat. The blow had to be sure. At the very moment she's got to the perfect position to strike the cloud passed. The moonlight revealed the man's face and the girl hesitated for a second. A drop of blood fell from the blade on the man's neck and his hand darted upwards clutching the girl's wrist. The knife felt from her hand.

"My prince" said the girl giving him an awkward smile. That wasn't a proper form of greeting of a member of a royal family but she didn't think that proper greetings could save her in that situation.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Man moved to a sitting position without losing a grip on her wrist.

"I'm an assassin and I want to kill you"

"That's an honest answer though it was quite obvious. Who hired you?"

"There's no use for me to be dishonest, now is there? One of your brothers of course, Prince Primus to be exact"

"My brother is dead. All of them are"

"Oh... The deal's off then, I suppose." She gave it a thought and added: "...My king"

"Unfortunately, I'm not. Not yet." Septimus looked around and stated: "You've killed my men"

"They were in my way"

"Never mind. They were useless anyway. I've hired them after losing a bunch of even more useless idiots in a fight with pirates"

He finally let go of her wrist and stood up. The girl stayed on the ground rubbing her wrist. She was sure the bruises would appear soon. Well, that unless she got killed even sooner. Septimus glanced down at her speculatively. She didn't look very efficient but the two dead men proved her efficiency well enough. He reached out to help her up and said:

"Will you work for me?"

The girl looked up in surprise. Then she got herself together and switched to a businesslike manner.

"How much will you pay me?"

"Your life"

"Fair enough" said the girl and took his hand. Even when she was standing Septimus was about a foot taller than her. Constantly looking down at her. She felt uncomfortable. And irritated but that was a very wrong time for irritation. He still could change his mind about not killing her.

"Are you a fully trained assassin?"

"I'm still an apprentice. But I'm good, honestly"

"How come that my brother hired a mere apprentice to kill me?"

"Professionals prefer to stay away from royal feuds. And those who accept ask unreasonable amounts of money for their job. Apprentices, on the other hand, are always in need of practice... And fame"

Septimus didn't like ambitious people. They were unpredictable, they were hard to manipulate, they were trouble. Though it was always better to have them as allies rather than enemies.

"How do you seal your deals?" he asked.

You could hire an assassin without properly sealing the deal but then he would be simply a hired sword, doing his job and ready to betray you as soon as anybody offered better money. Sealing the deal made it nearly sacred. After that moment the assassin would rather die than see you in a harm's way.

"With blood or with a kiss. As Your Royal Highness will prefer" She smiled a bit mockingly and made a ridiculous curtsy. All curtsies look ridiculous if a person making them is wearing pants.

Septimus silently picked girl's knife and handed it to her handle first. She took it and said:

"The blade's poisoned"

"So is mine". He shrugged a little.

"I could search..." she wanted to finish it with "your man" but was stopped mid-sentence by a hand on the back of her head and the other lips pressed against her own. The kiss lasted for a mere couple of seconds and wasn't romantic in any way. It could have hardly been called a kiss. It was rather in terms with "business transaction". Septimus stood back and looked at the girl indifferently. She tried to stop repeating "He has warm hands" over and over in her head and look back at him with the same lack of emotions. Not that she was moved or anything. She just somehow expected his hands to be cold. Yes, that's it, she was surprised, nothing more. Or at least that was what she tried to tell herself.

The man was the one to break the silence.

"We move in an hour. I apparently have two spare horses so you can take one"

She made an effort to leap from a quarrel inside of her head and answered:

"I have my own. It's tied in the woods, I'll go fetch it" She whirled on her heels and walked swiftly towards the woods. He looked at her as if trying to say something but that moment passed and he went in the opposite direction to collect some firewood.


	2. Chapter 2

Two horses galloped side by side. Big black stallion carried a tall dark man while an also not-so-small chestnut mare carried a tiny slightly boyish-looking girl. The girl turned her head and tried to speak in pauses between clatters:

"Where... Are... We... Going?"

Prince Septimus made his horse go in a slower pace.

"We are going to restore my father's ruby"

"What for?"

"For me to be a king" and he looked at her meaningfully.

"So, you have to kill all your brothers AND to find some stupid piece of jewelery to become a king?"

"Yes"

"Oh, don't look at me in that no-nonsense way of yours. Actually, I think it would have all been much easier if people had got to choose their ruler"

"Do you know that the one of my brothers who was the most loved by people died first?"

"But he didn't really do anything to be loved for, now did he? None of you did. You know, you could have been loved by people if you had only tried hard enough to win them over"

He appeared to think about it.

"You honestly think the people could've chosen me over my brothers? Why would they do it?"

"Why not?" she smiled. "Look, I haven't met any of your brothers, at least not in person, but I've met you and I think you're quite a king material. You're smart, strong, charismatic. Your main flaw is that you're violent but it could always be posed as strong-willed and forceful. I personally would have voted for you"

He seemed pleased with her speech. Then something in it caught his attention.

"You've said you've never met my brothers. And you told me before that Primus hired you. Where is a lie in your stories?"

"Nowhere. Prince Primus sent me a letter with a nice amount of money attached to it and a promise of lots of lovely things when the job is done. I've never met him, by the time the letter got to me he was probably dead already"

The answer satisfied him and they rode further in silence.

* * *

They've rode all day and stopped only when the dusk started to fall. The girl sat and leaned back to a tree. She was exhausted. She was used to long roads but the last time she slept had been about two days ago and she could really do with something to eat. Just after sleeping for a bit... a couple of minutes would be enough...

"Get on your feet" said Septimus harshly. He was standing not far from her holding two swords. "Can you fight with a sword?"

"I told you I'm good" she answered standing up.

"Prove it". He tossed her one of the swords. She caught it with one hand and looked at him questioningly. He simply said "Attack at will"

The girl stormed forward and made a serie of wide slashing blows. That made no effect, the man defended from them without even making any effort. She decided to change tactics, try to beat him not with the force but with speed, making separate poking movements, saving her strength, wearing him off. He was bigger and at a certain moment she noticed that his blows started to look more and more tired. She picked a moment and made one strong upwards movement sending his sword away from his hand. She made a step away and prepared to make a final attack. Septimus took out his knife and waited for her move. "I can actually win this" passed a thought in her head and she attacked. Faster then she could even realise it she was disarmed, pushed with her back to his chest, one of his hands holding around her waist tightly, the other pressing a knife at her throat. He lowered his head and spoke:

"Do you know why you've lost?"

"Because I've lost concentration?"

"Because you were too afraid of losing. You killed those men in the woods so easily because they didn't matter, they were just standing in a way to your real goal. And then you've got to me and you knew that screwing that up may lead you to a world of trouble. As for this one, you were afraid of losing because you wanted to prove yourself to me too much"

He finally let her go. The girl turned around to face him and he continued speaking.

"People you are trying to kill are not your real aim, they are just standing in a way. Well, that unless you kill purely for the joy of taking somebody's life but you don't look like that kind of person. You have to remember it. While you are in a fight you have to let go, to think of what your real aim is and your natural instincts would do the rest"

"You might have a point here but that is an exact opposite of what I've been told before"

"Just try it my way next time"

She wanted to argue with him but she was too tired for the day so she simply nodded and went to find a place to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The girl woke up to a delicious smell of something being cooked on a fire. She could feel the sun shining on her face through the leaves. The girl opened her eyes and remembered where she was.

"Your Highness, you shouldn't have bothered. I could've..." She stopped talking as the man sitting by the fire looked back at her.

"Yes, My Highness should have starved while you were sleeping" he said sarcastically. "Grab something that may pass as a plate and join me"

They were silently chewing some unrecognisibly deformed animal when the girl noticed a small disheveled hedgehog peeking out of the grass a few feet away.

"Oh, just look at that cutie pie!" she exclaimed.

Prince Septimus rolled his eyes.

"That 'cutie pie' could have become a nice meal" he remarked.

"Don't you dare! Don't worry, sweetie, I won't let this man eat you"

The hedgehog sniffed and ran away.

"You've scared it away" the girl sighed.

"What have I done?"

"You look scary enough without doing anything"

"Now you're just flattering me" he grinned smugly.

* * *

The road to the Wall seemed endless and the girl started to get bored. She tried to come up with some theme for conversation but realised that it would slow them down and then they would never get to the stupid Wall. The glimpse of idea appeared in her head.

"I'll bet you that my horse is faster than yours" She gave Septimus a challenging look.

"I won't play your stupid games" he said stiffly.

The girl wasn't ready to give up so easily.

"Are _you_ afraid of losing?"

"I can kill you any time I want, you know" Actually he couldn't. They made a deal after all and he intended to keep it.

"Oh, that you can do but you can't outride me. You're too freaking huge, I'm surprised your horse is even able to carry you" These were blatant lies, Septimus was tall but quite slim. The girl just didn't have any other cards to play. Now she needed to act fast before he came up with some retort.

"Catch me if you can" With those words the girl lowered her head and forced the horse into gallop. "I'm so screwed" passed a thought in her head. Then an excitement of the race overcame her and she could think of little else but making the horse go even faster.

For a few seconds Septimus watched how she quickly increased the distance between them. Then he muttered "Oh, well, I can do with some excercise" and set off in pursuit. The girl had advantage of earlier start and her mare was faster so after a while Septimus realised that he lost her. He continued the way towards the Wall.

The Wall... When Septimus was a kid, he dreamed of growing up, becoming a king and making a big journey to the world beyond the Wall. When he was a bit older he dreamed of growing up, becoming a king and conquering the world beyond the Wall. Now he grew up, was ever so close to becoming a king and the world beyond the Wall was of no interest to him.

Soon the Wall appeared to his right side and he noticed a passage through it in a distance. Not far from the passage he saw two figures, one of a horse and one of a girl. He reached them and dismounted. The girl didn't even turn her head towards him. She was looking intently at a man-shaped burnt spot on the ground.


	4. Chapter 4

"What do you think happened here?" the girl asked.

"That's witch's work. No good news if you are still unsure. At least now we know where to go" answered Septimus. "And _now_ it's time to show how fast can you be"

He quickly jumped on the horse and rode off. He knew that they were close. So he rode as fast as his horse could go without taking notice whether or not the girl was keeping up with him. It was hard for her to keep his pace but she succeeded. The road was getting darker and the trees along the road were nearly all either withered or burnt. Soon they approached a large dark castle. It looked like it was very familiar with large quantities of magic usage. Not far from it they dismounted.

"Looks like we're not the only ones interested in getting in" whispered Septimus and pointed towards the entrance. The girl saw a young man on the outside of the castle trying to take a look through a window. Septimus moved towards him while the girl ran to the other side of the entrance trying to find a less obvious way in. She noticed a hole in the wall that was probably meant to be a small window or some kind of fortification. It was a bit high but the wall was fit for climbing. The girl reached the hole and squeezed through it. She found herself in a kind of a gallery with large shelves which led towards a platform on which two witches were standing. The third was currently in a fight with Septimus. He was doing pretty well considering that his leather coat was on fire. The other guy was nowhere to be seen.

The girl started moving slowly towards the platform trying to make as little noise as possible.

She was halfway to the platform when Septimus killed the witch he was fighting with. The second witch produced something that looked like a wax doll. The girl made few more steps. The witch twisted the doll's arm and the girl saw Septimus's arm snap. She covered her mouth not to scream. She has seen a lot of brutality in her short life but somehow seeing a man being so totally in power of some ugly old woman with a doll was too horrible for her. She needed to move faster but she couldn't do it without the risk of being noticed too soon.

The witch broke man's leg in the same manner and hearing the bones being snapped made the girl feel sick. She was already nearly running. The platform was close, so close. She had to get there before that woman made something even worse. The girl reached the corner and stopped. She was close to panic. She started mentally talking to herself.

"Now, think, stupid cow. What is your goal? Not to let him get hurt..." the sound of cracking bones was still clear in her head "...more. And those two mad crones are just standing in my way. Take a deep breath" She indeed took a deep breath.

"Let's put out those flames, shall we?" said the witch.

At that moment the girl made a leap and striked the witch in the elbow just in the place where the nerve runs. In pain the witch pushed her hand forward and up and involuntarily unclenched the fist that was holding the doll. The doll made a long arc in the air and landed on the floor far from the stairs that led from the platform. In the next moment the third witch came from the girl's back and stabbed her. She felt a piercing pain in her side and only had time to think "Try it my way next time! You stupid son of a..." and then everything went black.


	5. Chapter 5

The carriage jumped on a particularly large bump and the girl opened her eyes. She had no idea where she was and how she got there. She vaguely remembered being stabbed and now she was half-lying in a moving carriage with somebody sitting by her side.

"Are you hurt?" asked that somebody and the girl recognised somebody's voice. It was Septimus.

She made an effort and turned her head to face him.

"Am I supposed to say that it's just a flesh wound? Of course I'm hurt! What did I miss?"

"The witches are dead. Una, my sister, took care of us. Immobilized my broken limbs, stopped the bleeding from this nasty gap in your side. She's learned a lot living with a witch for all these years. Now, she's taking us to Stormhold. Oh, and do you remember the boy? He's apparently her son and a new king. He's now taking a romantic stroll with his star-girlfriend"

"Fantastic" said the girl sarcastically "So I got stabbed for nothing?"

"Well, you've saved my life along the way..."

"Yeah, but weren't you like crazy obsessed with becoming a king?"

"Still, choosing between being alive non-king and dead non-king I rather prefer alive"

The girl finally understood what bothered her from the first moment she started talking with him. He didn't look like his usual gloomy self. If anything he looked rather cheerful. Which was very strange considering the situation.

"Fair enough. Means I was worth my money after all" she half-smiled. "Oh, wait, I forgot, there is no money. Because somebody gracefully decided that not killing me was the most generous payment he could offer"

He grinned.

"You've worked for nothing actually. I've never meant to kill you. Though in my experience I've found that fear is a good base for loyalty"

"In your experience, really? Good deal it made for you. Now, let me see: a broken arm, a broken leg, lost chances in ever getting a crown and nobody by your side. Indeed, fear is an amazing base for everything"

He frowned. "You are"

"I'm what?"

"By my side. At least technically"

"I didn't stay with you out of fear! Well, I did, at least at first. But it's not only that. I think I just wanted... I don't know... to belong maybe. I needed to be loyal to somebody, anybody. You weren't the worst variant"

He kept looking at her with the same frown for a few seconds but then he relaxed, gave her the most mischievous grin she's ever seen and said:

"And you fancy me"

"What?! I so do not!" she tried to hit him but the pain she felt while trying to move her hand was too much so she just added "So do not" one more time.

"You find me fascinating, admit it. And you are being quite obvious about it. All those queer looks you've been giving me? And when we've made our deal, I mean, have you even been kissed before? You've trembled."

She was struggling to find the right way to breathe. "But you... but me... businesslike..." The girl tried to take herself in hands and failed miserably. He was wrong, so wrong. She just couldn't prove it. Even to herself. She couldn't come with any arguments so she just said helplessly: "You're wrong"

"Keep telling that to yourself"

She wanted to hurt him. So she blurted:

"And what will Your-So-Fascinating-Highness do without true aim? That very true aim you were talking so much about"

The girl missed. Septimus didn't look even a bit troubled with her words.

"Find myself another one. Becoming a king was a nice one but not so good if you start thinking long-term. Don't you get me wrong, ruling kingdom, terrorising people - that sounds like fun. Forcing my own kids to kill each other for one of them to become my successor - not so much. So, I've had some time to think while you were unconscious and I've decided that everything isn't that bad after all"

"Good for you" the girl said gloomily.

"Are you still...? I was just teasing you. Can't an injured man that just lost his crown have a little fun?"

"That was not funny. And I've never thought you were the one to have fun"

"Maybe I am now. I don't know yet. And I didn't think that I would strike the nerve there"

"You didn't. You didn't strike any nerves. Whatsoever"

"Oh, we'll see" He smiled and patted her knee with an uninjured hand.


	6. Chapter 6

Stormhold was busy with preparations for the wedding and subsequent coronation. Septimus has spent about a week in the castle and was bored out of his mind. He was told not to move his broken arm and leg so he spent the first couple of days sitting in his room. Then it became unbearable and he started going on crutches around the castle. The girl was nowhere to be seen, she was either doing a great job of avoiding him or simply left. He realised that he started to miss her. At least she talked with him. Now he was mostly on his own, Una visited him every other day but she was too busy to spend much time with him and other people prefered to stay out of his way not knowing how he would react to his current position. His unexpected nephew, Tristan, came to see him once and told that it would be a great honour for him if Septimus stayed to be his counselor. Ex-prince knew pretty well that the boy was simply trying not to make an enemy of him. He still promised to think about that offer. He couldn't leave until the broken bones healed anyway.

So he was moving slowly along the corridors and thinking. What did he want to do next? Stay here as boy's and Una's pet? That wasn't a very good prospect but what else could he do with his life? He still had a plenty of time to make any decision. Septimus made a turn to a dimly lit quite passage and saw the girl. She was sitting at the foot of the stairs with her shirt rolled up on one side, trying to remove stitches from a stabbing wound right under her ribs. The angle was uncomfortable and she was cursing under her breath, hissing with pain every now and then.

"You should see somebody about it" he said.

The girl jumped and quickly put the shirt back in place.

"I don't want to see anybody about it. I can do it myself"

"You clearly can't" he reached the stairs, leaned the crutches against the wall and seated himself by her side. "Here, let me help"

She looked sceptically at his broken right arm. Septimus caught this glance.

"Look, I wouldn't have offered unless I thought I was able to do it."

She hesitated for another second and then with a sigh rolled the shirt up. He reached his left hand and started slowly removing the stitches. They were crusted with blood in some places and weren't giving way easily. He tried pulling them more sharply and the girl cried out in pain so he put a hand on her bare back to calm her down. The effect was quite opposite, the girl arched her back to avoid the contact and then sprang to her feet.

"I'm sorry. I haven't meant to hurt you" he said apologetically.

"I... I know. I just don't think it's such a good idea." Her eyes were opened wide and she was clearly fighting the urge to run away.

"Calm down. I'll be more careful, I promise." He took her hand and pulled her back to sit. "Did it hurt that bad?"

"No. It's not it"

"What's going on then?"

"Never mind. Just finish it, please" she sounded nearly desperate.

"No, I need to know. Is it because of the same reason you've been avoiding me for a week?"

"Maybe... I don't know... I haven't been avoiding you"

"Yes, you have. And I don't get it. You know I don't mean you any harm. And even if you don't know it, why haven't you simply left? Why stay here and do everything possible not to see me?"

"Why does it even bother you? As if you cared."

He gave it a thought.

"Well, what if I do care?"

"You don't. And I don't care you don't care"

"You're being childish."

"I tend to do it if you haven't noticed yet. Or do you notice only the wrong things?"

"Ah, so that's what it's all about. The things I said back then in the carriage? But why are you still so frustrated about it? Unless I was right of course..."

The girl jumped back on her feet once again.

"You were not."

"If I was not, why are you so angry then?"

"Because it's cruel of you to make fun of me like that. To come here and to talk to me as if you were kind and to touch me and make my skin burn under this touch and... Oh shit." She covered her face with her hands in frustration. Then she turned around and quickly walked away.

Septimus wanted to call her back but suddenly realised that he didn't know her name to do it and calling out "Hey, you girl" wasn't the best thing to do in that situation. He obviously couldn't run after her either so he kept sitting on the step wondering about girls and mixed signals.


	7. Chapter 7

The girl was feeling terrible. She hasn't seen Septimus since her awfully shameful outburst and it started eating her up. She needed to see him, to check her feelings, to know whether it really was what it was or she simply snapped in the heat of the moment. In the back of her mind she knew that the "check feelings" part was a lie, she plainly needed to see him. She still wasn't ready to face him so she went with one option she saw available: sneaking in at night while he was sleeping. In her mind that idea didn't sound half as terrible as it really was.

So here she was, in his bedroom, in the middle of the night, watching him sleep. The room was dark but her eyes were already used to it and she could see his left hand lying on his stomach, his chest slightly going up and down as he breathed. And she knew she couldn't run away from herself any longer. But she could take some more time to run away from him. The girl started moving towards the door.

"You didn't really think I haven't noticed you, right? Last time you came to me at night you've tried to kill me"

"I... I thought you were asleep" she mumbled with embarrassment, praising the dark for hiding her face colour. It was probably red.

"I was. But you've watched me too loudly" he was half-sitting in the bed, resting his weight on the only healthy elbow.

"I have to go now."

"Where? I highly doubt you have any urgent things to do in the middle of the night"

"Do I really have to make up an answer to that?" she sounded miserable. Felt it too so she made another attempt of escaping.

"Wait. I wanted to ask you something. Come here"

She didn't really "come there" but she took all the courage she had left and took a step towards him.

"Yes?" she asked.

"What's your name?"

"What's my wh... What? You don't know my name? Yes, right, where could you possibly know it from... It's Val."

"As short for Valerie?"

"As short for mind-your-own-business" as soon as she said it she realised that such reaction was uncalled for. "Sorry, that was rude"

"You say rude things all the time but that's the first one you've apologised for. You are getting sweet on me" he smirked.

The girl muttered slightly incoherent "Oh, for fuck's sake" and tried to finally get out of the room.

"Are you going to run away every time the conversation gets uncomfortable?" called Septimus to her back.

The girl stormed back to him and stopped right next to his bed, hands crossed, breathing hard with fury.

"Sometimes I just want to slap you" she said through her teeth.

"But you won't hit a disabled man, right?" he was still smiling.

"Then I wish you weren't"

"I wish that too". For once he sounded hurt and Val realised that all her rage was gone, replaced with an urge to comfort him. She unconsciously put her hand over his.

Septimus started silently counting seconds until she realised what she was doing. It took three for compassion on her face to change to "oh, crap". He decided to put her out of her misery before she fled again so he turned his hand palm up and gently squeezed her fingers.

"Don't you worry yourself. I'll be good as new in no time and you'll get to hit me all you want. Or rather you could try it, I'm not promising I won't stop you" he said.

He was nearly mocking her but his thumb was lightly stroking girl's hand so she just stood there looking down at her feet. Her heart was bursting and it was even more hurtful than before. His jokes were painful but him being actually kind was even worse. It was a promise of hope while she knew for too well that there was nothing to hope for. But that wasn't his fault. She was fighting back the tears but she raised her eyes to face him. He was looking at her with a soft smile so she made an effort to smile back.

"Val, I want to ask something of you. I want you to visit me from time to time, I'm getting terribly bored on my own. Will you do that?"

"Of course, Your Grace. Is it Your Grace now, by the way?" she wondered

"I've never cared to check. Servants mostly call me My Lord but there is no need for you to do that. You'll make it sound kinky anyway" His smile became broader.

"How should I call you then?"

"Septimus will do. I don't know why are you even thinking about it now. You haven't shown me much respect before to pay much attention to formal addresses"

"I apologise. I'll be more respectful"

"Oh, God, don't. Keeping your temper in check wouldn't hurt but I don't need curtsies from you"

The girl wistfully took her hand out of his.

"'Till the next time then" she said.

"Nice meeting you, Val"

She smirked and went away at last.


	8. Chapter 8

The following week was more pleasant for Septimus. His hand was slowly regaining its functions and Val dutifully visited him every day. Though their daily walks weren't quite what he had expected. They used to go to the garden, Septimus still walking on crutches. The girl was unusually quiet. She never added anything to conversations and while asked direct question answered politely but indifferently. Septimus tried to snap her out of this state with his usual teasing but somehow it stopped working. Sometimes for a few seconds it looked like she was going to react but then she calmed down completely.

Septimus started doubting whether his suspicions about her feelings towards him were right. It would have been a bummer if they weren't. To be honest the idea of her having a crush on him was flattering. But he could think about that later, after the more important things have been figured out. So when he met the girl the next time he initiated another conversation:

"They told me that by the time of the wedding I'll be walking on my own feet"

"That's great news" She sounded genuinely happy for him.

"That means that I'll stay until the coronation but then I'm going to get out of here"

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going on a journey. Apparently if you call your journey an expedition they give you money for it. So I'm going in expedition"

"That sounds interesting"

"Care to join?" he asked casually though that question was the very reason why he started the whole conversation.

"Do you have to ask?" she said flatly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She gave him a long sad look. Sadness was also something new that Septimus started noticing in her that last week. It was a bit unnerving, he knew how to deal with her angry outbursts but that constant slow-burning sadness came out of nowhere and he had no idea what to do with it. Septimus couldn't figure out why did he actually care, her mood wasn't causing any direct inconvenience for him, if anything she was easier to communicate with but somehow he felt that her unhappiness troubled him.

"Yes, I will go with you" she said simply.

"Good"

He was pleased. Travelling alone was not safe and also now he would have enough time to get her old self back and to mock the hell out of her.

"Are you going to be at the wedding?" he asked.

"Yes, Una even gave me a dress for the occasion"

"A dress? Now that's interesting"

"Not really. I don't wear dresses for a reason, believe me"

"Do you dance?"

"No. I've never learned to. Do you?"

"I know how to dance but I don't think my leg would be quite ready for such exercises"

The conversation died out. Septimus tried to come up with something witty to lead her into an argument but he knew beforehand that she wouldn't fight back.

Their nearly silent walks continued until the very day of the wedding.


	9. Chapter 9

The ceremony was beautiful. The groom looked almost kingly and the bride... the bride was literally shining. And now all the guests were celebrating the newly weds.

Septimus was sitting by his sister's side silently observing everything that was going on in the hall. He noticed Val standing by the wall. She was right about the dress. It didn't really suit her. She was too flat in all the necessary places with her arms and legs being a bit too muscular. He could see a clear tan line where her shirt usually ended. To be honest, the only person he's ever seen to look more ridiculous in dress was Captain Shakespeare. But Captain was probably more comfortable in it.

Una took him out to talk about his further plans and when they came back the girl was nowhere to be seen. Celebration was getting more heated and the drinks were poured in improbable amounts. Septimus went to the balcony to get some air. The girl was already there, sitting on the edge, with her legs dangling through baluster, waving them in the air slightly.

"Too much leg" He expected to cause some impulsive reaction: startled jumping, covering her legs with a skirt, even blushing maybe. But she just turned her head and looked at him questioningly. He elaborated "You're showing too much leg"

"So what? You're not interested in my legs anyway and there is nobody else here"

He came near her and sat facing the entrance with his back leaning on baluster.

"I find your legs very interesting." He tried actually grabbing the one closer to him but the girl snapped his hand off. "Why are you so gloomy?"

"I'm a girl. I'm on a wedding. Put two and two together"

"Are you in love with Tristan?" he asked incredulously.

"Don't be ridiculous"

"Yvaine?"

"It's not about _the_ wedding, it's about weddings in general"

"What, do _you_ want to get married?"

"Why is that so surprising? I mean not now, sure. But one day it could be nice... Mind you, if you ever remind that conversation to me I will deny it but at days like this every girl wonder how she would have looked in a lovely white dress"

"White isn't really your colour"

"I wear white all the time!"

"I would have hardly called that colour white"

"Oh, shut up. It was white, one day... So, if not white, what is my colour then?"

"Don't know. Blue maybe? I like blue"

He lowered his glance and noticed a scar on her thigh peeking out from under the skirt. He started absent-mindedly tracing it with his finger pushing the skirt even further up. The girl didn't stop him or say anything and just looked at him curiously. The scar ended in the hip region.

"You do realise you're basically staring at my butt, right?"

He looked at her not quite understanding what she was saying. Then he abruptly stopped all scar-exploring activities. The girl was grinning widely, proud of herself for catching him. She finally looked normal, wild and ill-behaved as she was. Septimus felt sudden urge to… No, that wouldn't have been appropriate. Appropriate? Since when did he think of appropriate...? While he was having mental discussion with himself the girl turned her head to look in the distance and the moment was gone.

They were sitting in silence for a while. The night has already fallen and it was getting colder. The girl stood up and adjusted the skirt. She was barefoot and Septimus could see that her legs were covered in goose-bumps from standing on the cooled stone floor. She looked down at him.

"Is Your Royal Highness or whatever you are called now capable of getting on feet on his own?" She sounded sneering but Septimus felt that there was genuine concern behind the harsh words. She just wasn't really good with expressing her feelings. But so was he after all.

He stood up putting most of the weight on his left side.

"I've told you to call me Septimus"

"No, I can't. It sounds way too..." the girl searched for the right word and not finding better alternative went with "intimate".

Septimus thought of the first time they've met, when she tried to kill him. About a month has passed since then already. The girl was still unsure of herself, still a bit afraid maybe but still there. Standing in front of him with her head raised so that she could look him in the face, defiant and vulnerable at the same time. "Oh, to hell with appropriate" went through his head and he leaned forward to kiss her. One of his arms went to her lower back while the other settled at the base of her head holding her close. He wasn't sure how she would react, half-expecting her to hit him but instead she reached for his shoulders pushing herself even closer to him. He could sense her heart wildly thumping by his. The passion and longing that were slowly burning in her for all that time were now getting their escape. And all he had to do was not to let her go.

But everything must end at some point. The kiss broke and Val took a step back.

"What about now?" asked Septimus still slightly out of breath.

"What...?"

"Can you now call me by name?"

"I... I don't now. Maybe. Probably" she was visibly shaking.

"Damn you, girl, you're shivering. Let's get you inside before you freeze"

They went inside and soon the girl managed to disappear out of his sight completely. He was left to hope that she wouldn't use her avoiding technic on him again.


	10. Chapter 10

The girl was standing in the garden knowing that Septimus would soon come there for a walk. She was feverishly rehearsing a speech she would tell him. "Look, about what happened at the wedding. You were drunk, I was drunk, everybody were drunk. So what happened was obviously caused by alcohol, it's understandable and now we can forget about it." Yes, that sounded about right.

He came from behind, put a hand on her waist and kissed her on a cheek lightly. The girl blushed.

"Here goes my speech" she said miserably.

"Speech? What speech?"

"About the things alcohol does to people..."

"Oh yes, alcohol, that cheeky bastard. So what about it?"

"Last night... lots of alcohol... we can forget..."

"Can you? That's insulting, I have to say" he grinned.

"Can you stop being so smug for half a second?"

"Possibly. But why would I?"

"God, why does it have to be that hard?!" groaned the girl.

"You tell me" he wanted to stop there but he was getting angry too "Why do you have to deny everything you are feeling? Why can't you simply admit that you like me and live on with it? You're the one to complicate things, so don't blame God for that"

"Maybe because I don't like you!"

"Stop that. You're a very bad liar"

She laughed nearly maniacally. "Yes, I am. But you, oh, you are a very good one. Playing on my feelings like that. And for what? To boost your self-esteem? Or to prove your point? Well then, consider your point proven. I do like you, as heartless and as full of shit as you are. If I had anything to compare with I would have said that I bloody love you. Happy now?! Now you can go to hell, because I hate you. And I'm not running away, I'm indignantly walking off"

And then she ran away of course.

"Fuck" said Septimus.

* * *

He found her in half an hour, sitting under a tree. She looked like a complete mess. It was clear that she was crying for the most part of that half an hour. When she saw him she tried to wipe away her tears but not quite successfully.

"I don't hate you" she said still sobbing a little.

"I know. And I didn't kiss you to prove a point"

"Really?"

"Yes. Now, please, get yourself together"

"Why did you do it then? I mean, really, why? You can't honestly like me. I'm not pretty..."

"That you are not" he admitted.

"Or smart..."

"Well, you have your moments but you do behave as an idiot of a girl for most of the time"

"Then why?"

"Look, Val, I'm not saying I'm in love with you, that wouldn't be true. But I haven't been close to anyone for years, and, as you put it, you weren't the worst variant... That sounded wrong. What I'm trying to say is that I do like you, for whatever reasons, but my feelings are probably inadequate to what you feel. And I got carried away"

"So what are we going to do?"

They mutely mused about it for a while. Then the girl collected herself and said:

"Do you know what our main problem is?"

"Idiocy and stubbornness?"

"Yeah, those too. But basically we are just having too much time to overthink everything. I'm sure that as soon as we get on the move all that frustration will wear off"

"So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying screw it. Screw the feelings. Let's hit the road, get ourselves occupied, forget about all that emotional staff"

"We can't leave untill the coronation. Tristan is our new king after all"

"You can hint that you are planning to poison him... I'm sure they will be more than happy to let you go"

"It's just a few more days. And as soon as the king is crowned we're going to leave"

"I'm starting to wonder whether you do plan to poison him" she smiled.

"Shut it, girl" He landed her a hand to get up and they went on their usual walk, with a sense of relief from getting everything out.


	11. Chapter 11

The coronation had gone absolutely according to the plan. Nobody had been poisoned and Tristan had officially become the new king of Stormhold. But preparations for Septimus' depart were taking much more time than he planned. The girl was getting restless so the bickering between the two of them nearly never stopped and her mood swings became unbearable.

Finally came the day when everything was ready and Septimus was sitting in his bedroom trying to remember whether he forgot anything. Suddenly the door flew open. It was Val of course.

"You should have knocked first, you know. I might have been naked or something" he said a bit irritably.

"That's a view I was secretly hoping to behold but you are such a disappointment. Are you ready? We have to leave, now! I can't stand being in this place for a second longer than is absolutely necessary" She tried to pull him by the hand "Come on"

Septimus unwillingly stood up and followed her out of the room.

A dozen of guards that were to accompany them were already waiting and not only Una but Tristan himself came to see them off.

"Uncle, I would like to ask you for a slight change in your plans" he said.

"What is it? I'm not going to stay here"

"No, no, it's not that at all. I just want you to change the course of your journey. I'm planning to make a diplomatic alliance with the King of Ingmaria so I hope you won't mind paying him a visit. A ship awaits you, all ready for sale"

"Is that a flying ship? I have a certain distaste for them"

"No, the one that actually sails by the sea"

"Then I don't see any problem with that. Do you have anything exact in mind that you'd like me to discuss with him?"

"Nothing specific, I will send you a letter if anything comes up. Thank you, uncle. It is very important to me"

Half an hour later all goodbyes were already said and the expedition headed to the port. Val was glad to be back on horse and she regretted that they would have to leave the horses before boarding. When they reached the port and dismounted she came to Septimus.

"My aunt lives not far from here. Can I visit her, please? I haven't seen her for a while"

"We have some time before departure so why not. Can I come?"

"If you want to. I don't think she'll mind"

Val spent most of her childhood with her aunt who was a kindhearted elderly woman with a soft spot for cats. The girl remembered running away to the sea for the most of the day and coming back in the evenings to play with warm fuzzy balls of fur that were kittens. She quickened her pace when she saw her aunt's cottage in a distance. The old lady was sitting on the porch knitting and jumped on her feet when she saw them coming.

"Valita, my dear girl, is that you?" she exclaimed giving the girl a warm hug.

"Valita, really?" asked Septimus snarkily.

"Shut up" hissed Val through teeth.

"Oh, and who is that young man with you?" asked the aunt letting go of her.

"That's Prince... Lord... Well, that's Septimus. And I would hardly call him young" she answered giving Septimus a "take that" look.

"He's handsome" the woman loudly whispered.

"I know" whispered Val in the very same volume.

"But do come in" The aunt took them to a small but cosy kitchen. When her guests sitted themselves a tiny black kitten wandered wobbly from the corner right to the center of the kitchen. "This kitten is very curious. Other kittens mostly sleep by their mother but this one keeps wandering off. But silly me, I'll go fetch some fresh vegetables for the table" and she went out to the garden.

The kitten was still going somewhere, its funny carroty tail standing parallel to the floor. Val picked it up from the floor and put into Septimus' lap. He stroked the small creature lightly.

"The kitten makes even you look cute" said the girl with a smile.

Septimus pressed his thumb to kitten's nose. The kitten looked at the thumb as if it has never seen such a strange thing and then licked it. Seeing that nothing interesting happened the kitten tried to bite the thumb with its tiny teeth. Septimus looked up from the kitten to the girl.

"Is it trying to eat me?"

"It probably thinks that it caught you" Val smiled even wider.

"I've never had pets aside from horses. My brothers would have probably harmed it somehow anyway"

"Well, it's never late to take one"

"When we come back, if this one is still here I will take it, if your aunt doesn't mind"

"She won't. Oh my, that would be so sweet"

"Try not to get diabetes. I just like it"

"I think it likes you back"

The kitten sleepily cuddled in his lap.

"Do you know an interesting thing about kittens?" asked the girl grinning. "Apart from being cute all the time they shit a lot"

"You are disgusting"

"I just felt like I had to say it, the things were getting way too idyllic"

They've spent the rest of the day at Val's aunt so the ship set its sail only at sunset.


	12. Chapter 12

The sail took two days which Septimus and Val spent mostly apart from each other. Val enjoyed the journey immensely and was running all over the ship trying to reveal all its secrets while Septimus felt slightly seasick and rarely came out of his cabin. At the end of the second day Val excitedly knocked on his door.

"Septimus! Septimus, come out. We can see Ingmaria clearly from here already. We will be there in less than an hour"

Septimus went on the deck and saw that Ingmaria indeed was there. Ingmaria had a hot climate and a large part of it was occupied by desert. But the coast looked beautiful with its soft white sand and palm-trees that could be seen even from a long distance. As they moved closer Septimus noticed a colourful delegation that was on the coast in order to meet them. Not too far from the coast stood a luxurious castle. It had a lot of golden parts and was shimmering in the sun beautifully.

As soon as they went ashore gorgeously dressed young lady moved forward to greet them.

"It's my great honour to see you in a kingdom of Ingmaria. I am Princess Agatha. My father awaits for you in the castle"

She gazed at Septimus with an interest and then moved her glance to Val. She made a face a proper lady would make while looking at something slightly disgusting, something between a worm and a slug.

"Who is that friend of yours, Lord Septimus? Is that a new fashion in Stormhold for women to dress up as farm boys?" she asked.

Val could feel the blood rushing to her face and the rage started to build inside of her when Septimus took her arm and hooked it around his elbow.

"And is it a custom in Ingmaria to travel in evening gowns?" he asked coldly. "This is Lady Valita who kindly agreed to take this journey with me"

"My carriage is fit for two, would you like to accompany me to the castle, Lord Septimus? The rest may follow us on foot, it isn't far from here" Princess Agatha smiled showing her shining white teeth.

"I already have a company" he answered.

Val looked up in his face.

"Septimus, there is no need to be rude. I will be quite fine on my own, I will travel with guards. They are nice chaps and are telling the most amusing dirty jokes"

She patted his elbow lightly and took a step back. Septimus sighed deeply and went forward to join the Princess.

* * *

The King gave them the warmest welcome and attempted to throw a feast in honour of his guest but Septimus convinced him to postpone it in order to rest after the journey. Both Val and Septimus were taken to their rooms which were enormously spacious. Soon the girl got bored and went to join Septimus in whatever he was doing.

"I knew you weren't sleeping" she said entering his room.

He indeed wasn't. He was sitting in a chair, deep in his thoughts. He shrugged when he heard her speak.

"I can't. It is too early and I'm not tired. But I'd rather stay here than go and make small talk with the King and his daughter. You can join me if you want to" he said.

She took the bed and they sat in silence for a while. The girl was starting to doze off when somebody knocked on the door.

"A letter for Lord Septimus" said that somebody through the door.

Septimus opened the door, took the letter and came back to his chair to read it. It took him a few minutes of reading when he exclaimed:

"He can't do that to me!"

"What's going on?" asked Val and sat upwards.

He stormed to her and gave her the letter.

"Read it"

She started reading it out loud.

"_My dearest uncle. _Are you the "dearest" because you are the only one left?"

"Probably. Keep reading"

"_My dearest uncle, I hope that your journey is going well... _It is too long, could you give me a summary?"

"He wants me to marry her!" he looked furious.

Something dropped inside of Val but she asked calmly:

"Who?"

"Princess Agatha"

"So?"

"So?! He is not in the place to command me that! I am his uncle, he's not to choose a wife for me. And he married for love so how dares he to offer a political marriage to me"

"I don't understand what are you getting so worked up about. She is very beautiful and she'll probably be a good wife to you"

"Who? That stupid little..." Then he used a word that made even Val giggle and say "Septimus" in the most disapproving way.

"What? She is. She's dumb and self-obsessed and downright boring. Do you know what she talked about in the carriage? About the clothes and jewelry and balls and how rich her father is and how beautiful she is. _Have you noticed how great my skin looks? It's all because of that very expensive oil my father buys me. Touch it, my skin is as soft as a baby's bottom._ It took a lot of effort from my side not to kick her out of the carriage."

"Do you think she actually touched some babies' bottoms to make such comparisons? Anyway, it is just a political marriage, you would hardly have to see her at all after you get married and when her father dies you would be the King of Ingmaria. It's not that bad"

"Of all people I didn't expect you to find it a good idea"

"Why?"

"Well, don't you love me anymore?"

The girl blushed a bit and looked up at him defiantly.

"That was low, Septimus. And it doesn't have anything to do with anything. It's not if a man like you could marry a girl like me. I don't have any false hopes about that. So you might as well marry Princess Agatha, I think she's a good fit for you"

"There is no such thing as "man like..." or "girl like...". People are all different, if you haven't noticed."

He went to the other end of the room and continued speaking from there.

"I won't marry her. I don't like her. I don't want a wife I would hate"

"Even if she makes you a king one day?"

"Actually I don't think it matters that much to me any more... I have to think about the answer for Tristan, could you leave me alone, please?"

The girl climbed off the bed and silently left the room.


	13. Chapter 13

The girl was woken up by Septimus saying right in her ear:

"Wake up! I have a plan"

The girl looked at him sleepily not quite understanding what was going on.

"You know what? _You_ should have knocked. I _am _naked or something. Go away, I'm sleeping" she managed to say and tried to go back to sleep.

"Are you?" asked Septimus with loads of enthusiasm in his voice and sitted himself on the bed.

"What?"

"Naked?"

"Of course I am, you perv. Now get out"

"Well, you'd better stay under this sheet than. Listen, I know what to do with my situation"

"You are not going away, are you?"

"No"

"I'm listening then. But be quick about it"

"I can't marry her, she's horrible but if I give this reason not to marry her both kings would be very angry with me, right?"

"Right. That's why you have to marry her and leave me alone"

"No, my plan consists of exactly the opposite. I should tell them that I can't marry Princess Agatha because I am already secretly married. To you"

By that moment the girl realised that she was fully awake. She sat up and realised that with Septimus sitting at one end of the sheet she simply couldn't get both her chest and back covered. She chose chest and tried not to pay attention to the interested looks the man was throwing at her bare back.

"Are you kidding me? That's the worst plan I've ever heard"

"Don't be so quick to criticise. If you think about it this plan is nearly flawless. Everybody is happy. Kings don't have anything against me because, well, I'm only being an honorable man here. You love me. I care for you. Princess Agatha... she may go to hell for all I care, but still I don't think she would have anything to say if she gets to know that I'm already married"

For a few seconds it seemed like Val had nothing to say but then she pulled the sheet from under him, wrapped it carefully around herself, stood up on the bed and began shouting:

"Flawless you say, huh? Are you fucking nuts?! I admire the way you take me for granted! You care for me? Oh, good for you! Do you really think that the best reasons to marry a man is that he cares for you and that he wants to save his ass from marrying a girl he doesn't like?"

"I thought that loving said man was quite a good reason" he said quietly.

"Get the fuck out" she whispered feeling that the tears started to sting her eyes.

"And now you are crying. Why are you crying? I don't get it"

"Of course you don't" she said meekly and started to cry openly not being able to control herself any longer.

He stood up and gently lowered her into a sitting position. He put an arm around her shoulders and said:

"Tell me"

She tried to get herself together and not quite succeeding started speaking slowly between sobs:

"Of course you don't get it. You don't get how it hurts. That you are nearly perfect, apart from being heartless idiot of course" at that moment she smiled a bit. "You don't get how hard it is to say no to you even if you want to marry me for completely wrong reasons. And you don't even understand why they are wrong"

He held her for a while until the sobs stopped and then said:

"I see it now"

"You see what?"

"A flaw in my plan"

She smiled and then said with a giggle:

"Are you in such deep shit that you just tried to propose to me?"

"Apparently"

"But surely she can't be that bad"

"Believe me, she can"

"Anyway, you can always decline. So what that they would be angry with you? What will they do, put you in the corner? But I really think you should consider marrying her, crown will suit you"

"So from your point of view _that_ is a good reason for marriage?"

"For you? Yes. If you loved somebody it would have been a whole different matter but since you don't..."

They sat like that for a while and then Septimus stood up and went to the door. He opened it, turned back and said:

"You know I think I would've been glad if you said yes. At least I could've stopped pretending that this sheet isn't too thin and that it can actually cover anything"

The flying pillow hit already shut door.


	14. Chapter 14

A couple of hours later Val came to the garden. She wasn't the only one who decided to enjoy some flowers on such a lovely morning. Princess Agatha was sitting on a bench lazily picking off the petals of particularly beautiful looking rose.

"Good morning, Your Royal Highness" the girl addressed her.

Princess looked at her questioningly.

"Do you by any chance know where Lord Septimus is?" Val asked.

"He went away. Father wants to show him the kingdom"

After a pause she wandered:

"What does he see in you? Keeping you around like that! It's so inappropriate, people will talk. Though it will be over soon. When we get married you won't get anywhere near him, is that understood? He may call you Lady, but you are just a low-born skank"

"When did he propose?" asked the girl stiffly.

"He hasn't yet. I don't understand what is he waiting for. He's so lucky to have me"

"Aren't you lucky to have him?"

"Who? That lame old man? As my father always says: there is nobody good enough for me"

Val started looking around for something sharp or heavy. "Or I can always strangle the bitch" she thought to herself. She had to make her inner assassin go back to sleep when she heard the voices coming. She distinguished that those were of the King and Septimus.

"Are you sure you are not offended by this? I simply can't decline him" said the King apologetically.

"How can I take a well-deserved prize from a man? Don't worry, I won't hold grudge for that" said Septimus. He noticed the girls. "Excuse me, I have to leave you now, Your Majesty"

As he was walking towards them Val noticed that he was slightly limping but how could anybody possibly call him lame. And he wasn't _that _old. Soon he reached them and whispered in Val's ear:

"I'm a genius"

His smile was so broad that the girl couldn't help smiling back even though she didn't understand what was going on. Then he turned to the Princess and said:

"I'm sorry but I have to take her from you"

"As you wish" said the Princess in a tone that clearly showed that she couldn't care less.

Septimus took the girl by the hand and led her towards the castle. When they reached his room he lightly pushed her inside, came in himself and carefully closed the door. Then he turned to face the girl, still beaming with joy.

"I'm off the hook" he said excitedly "All it took was a poison, an antidote and one very ambitious guard"

"What did you do?"

"Well, first thing after I left you I searched my things and found aforementioned poison and antidote. Then I visited our guards, chose the one I liked the most and gave him an antidote and detailed instructions of what he had to do next. Then I went to the King and asked him to show me his lands to which he agreed instantly probably thinking that I wanted to estimate what I get by marrying his daughter. I insisted on taking both his and my guards. When we've stopped to have a light breakfast I've slipped some poison into King's drink and then all I had to do was waiting. Soon the King started to feel poorly, it's quite a nasty poison that makes breathing extremely hard while forcing the heart to increase its pace causing a panic attack. If antidote is not taken in time a person soon dies of either suffocation or heart attack. Anyway, imagine yourself: the King is gaping like a fish that was taken out of the water, nobody knows what to do. And here storms my guard screaming that he could save the King. He gives him the antidote and all of a sudden the King is miraculously healed. He asks what does his savior want as a reward. And what does that savior say?"

"What does that savior say?"

"Princess Agatha's hand in marriage" answered Septimus triumphantly. "Obviously the King couldn't say no to him. So now the Princess is going to marry one of my guards instead of me and I'm the offended part. So, am I genius or what?"

In answer the girl stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek lightly. Septimus looked at her incredulously.

"I can poison some more people if you keep kissing me for that"

"Don't get too cocky" she smiled.


End file.
